Oh Husband, I really do adore you.
The way you play with the kids, say you love me
well it really does make my heart sing.
What doesn’t make my heart go pitter patter however
Your snoring my dear, sounds like a chainsaw….in my ear
A snarling, grinding, snorting, god awful sound does come from your face
And now I sit up thinking about it
to my dismay.
For years you denied it,
claimed “honey you’re lying”
No, no my darling you were only in denial.
For I hear your concert every night like a snoring recital
A new pillow we tried
Snore strips as well
I resorted to earplugs, but those are annoying if you could not tell
Permanent dark circles under my eyes
a Zombie Mom I’ll be.
To put up with your snoring,
oh woe is me.
So here I am typing this precious ode to you.
To you, snoring dear husband and how it makes me want to shank you.