Let’s go to the Movies

So last week I ventured out to take the kids to the movies, alone. I went in with the attitude of, “I’ve GOT this!” It honestly felt long overdue. The anxiety that can fall on me going out with both kids, is daunting. I’m always expecting: the gimmees, a tantrum, a bathroom break (or two), and not enough caffeine. However, the kids really wanted to see Paddington, and so a promise was made. Without further ado, here is what I witnessed.

1. Your school is closed for the day? Expect to see half of the school there.

The movie theater was basically ALL kids from our town’s elementary school. Every other minute my kids were waving, or shouting hello to a classmate. Mom’s, this is when you’ve reached “Cool Mom” status. All the cool Mom’s take their kids to the theater, noted. Also, major pat on the back for getting there early. Not exaggerating, there were no seats left when the movie started,

2. Your children will sucker you into something you wouldn’t buy them normally.

Icees, darn you luscious, syrupy sweet, artificially dyed, drinks of goodness. It was like a revolving door of their classmates getting these. As the concession boy looked at me, almost pleading with me to hurry up, I ordered them each an Icee. Would I regret this later, yes. Were they thrilled at the moment, yes. Handled.

3. All Mom’s had basically the same “uniform going”. Jeans, sweater/track jacket, scarf, ponytail, thick headband, and Uggs.

It was like “Basic Moms” unite. We were ALL wearing the same thing. I marveled at each Mom walking in with the same outfit, with little to no differentiation. I was both satisfied, and mortified that I fit in. Baa?

4. Mom “cliques” exist.

The Mom’s that were around me knew ALL the neighborhood gossip. They were talking about whose Husbands weren’t around. What Mom was letting herself go. Who’s kid is a brat. Trash talking other Mom’s. It was popcorn worthy, and this was before previews!

5. A Grandmother or two will be there.

How can hey be spotted? They do not give a flip what their grandchild is doing. They got their grandchild a kid tray of junk food, and proceed to let the child grind popcorn and candy into the floor. Kid is kicking your chair, hilarious! Kid is being loud, this is a great trait! I could not stop gawking at this woman next to me. The amount of trash she left behind, and what she let her grandson get away with was unreal.

6. Your child will find a way to still be embarrassing.

We were making it through perfectly. The three of us sat, shared popcorn, drank their syrup, or um drinks, and laughed at all the normal parts. Some of the Mom’s and I even connected a bit. Then, Alex made an announcement, “I have FARTED!” Loudly, was clearly how he felt this needed to be announced. The rows around us roared. My cheeks were flaming red with embarrassment, and Alex beamed with pride. I leaned over and quietly, yet firmly explained to Alex that we don’t say these things. The damage was done. The Mom’s snickered at me, and I’m pretty sure my “Cool Mom” membership was revoked.

7. Most importantly: It won’t be that bad.

I ended up regretting nothing. Ok, except the drinks. My children were BOUNCING off the walls for the next couple hours. I let it go about the fart joke. It is what it is. We didn’t need any bathroom breaks. I made them go before we left the house, and let them know there wouldn’t be any breaks. There were no tantrums. The kids sat, and behaved throughout the rest of the movie, and the movie was actually good!

There you go! I made it! Survived! Conquered! Even, though I might not be hanging out with some of these other Mom’s anytime soon, I still had fun.

❤ Erin

Letter to my Son

Dear Colin,

I have seen that you have been struggling lately with friends at school. You’re trying to figure out, where, and if, you fit in. This is the age where kids start to notice differences in personalities, appearances, and materialistic things. I know there have been so many times that you have insisted, “Mom, you just don’t understand”, but I do.

The sadness is I do Colin, and it breaks my heart. I have been in your shoes. I remember around your age that I wasn’t super girly. Grandma insisted that I have boy short hair, because it was easier to maintain. I did not get the fad toys, that other kids got to brag about. Somehow or another, I didn’t have many friends.

Its not your lack of trying Colin. You may look like Daddy, but most of the times you act like me. I get that you’re sensitive, and observant; but at the same time you long for acceptance. It hurts to see you raise your voice, and try to do something wacky because you feel it will get you attention. Instead, you might get an odd glance, and sometimes a laugh. I see the mirror similarities as you try to find what is wrong with you, or have the feeling of “everyone hates me”.

When you tell me about the kids that tell you they have “too many kids to play tag”, or just don’t want to play with you at recess, I cry. The days you have come home and told me again, and again that you play alone, I cry. When I ask why, you say “no one wants to play with me”. It makes me cry again, as I am now, because I feel like I’m needing to fix myself all over again. I don’t want you to go through life trying so HARD. What is worse, I see how it pains you that it comes so easy for your little brother. Alex has friends, hes outgoing, and kids seem to flock to him. Now when you meet kids you introduce your brother first. As if,he is your ticket to popularity.

Listen Colin, if I could give you advice that I would give myself when I was 7, it would be this:

YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH AS YOURSELF.

You’re a beautifully handsome, funny, smart, loving boy.

You’re not perfect yet at sports, but you have been getting the hang of it!

You’re a wiz at math, and I love your growing need to learn more things.

You ARE heard. Your voice doesn’t need to go louder. We hear you, want to hear you, and love what you have to say. There is no competition.

If you have to try so hard to fit in with a group of kids, the trick is to stop trying. Stop seeking them out Colin. Stop making them feel like they have power over you. I am sure there are kids that want to play with you, but you’re feeling down about the rejection of a couple. The right friend is there for you. Don’t feel “stupid” about always playing with Ellie. She is a sweet girl. She’s athletic, smart, sassy, outgoing, and shes a red head like Uncle Michael, so I approve.

The point of this Colin is I don’t want you to go down a long road of loneliness. The first time I contemplated being dead was when I was 10. I was horrifically outcast from friends, and didn’t feel loved. My family also didn’t it seriously when they found drawings of me illustrating this. You, my sweet beautiful boy, ARE loved. I have loved you from the moment I knew you were there. I am sorry if I haven’t been there the way I have wanted to this last year, but I am here now.

We will figure this out together, and I will guide you the best I can. Just know that you’ll make it, and you will find friends. Most importantly just remember that you’re family loves you.

Love you to the moon and back,

Mommy