My child turned into “That Kid”

Lately, my youngest has been testing my patience. He is a pistol to say the least. Although he  is adorable, he is also defiant, manipulative, and a bit of a rager. Yes I just described my 5 year old there. I had Parent Teacher Conferences and was told he is quite clingy with one kid in the class and there was concern. What is this concern? Is my child a walking Lifetime movie? Apparently my child goes into gangster mode when he feels his friendship is threatened. Completely logical.

Things came to a head when I got a call yesterday, that he punched his best friend in the stomach. My adorable, little snuggle bug, punched his best friend in the stomach. When he was asked why, it came out as “wanting to see if it would hurt”. SOUND THE ALARMS! What did he just say?!?!?! So of course, I have an extremely concerned teacher and a completely embarrassed self.

Thankfully my sister was a voice of reason when I told her what happened. Her advice:”You need to bring down the hammer!” Absolutely correct. We don’t raise the boys in violence, so I was so disheartened that he put “hands” on someone else.

So, when Alex got off the bus. I calmly told both boys we were heading straight home. There was going to be no playtime with the neighborhood kids today. After we walked in the front door, I sat Alex down and asked him what happened. He said he didn’t want to talk about it. I explained about the phone call. After looking at me for a second, he cried. I asked him why he would do that, he gave me the same answer he gave his teacher.

Holy mortified.

I told him there was no way he could mean that. After some coaxing he explained the boys tease each other. Next, he said they hurt each other as a joke. So someone gets hit and the victim will say “that didn’t hurt haha”. He didn’t understand what was so wrong because his friend didn’t cry, he just got caught. I had to explain that he could not do this with his friends, that it is never right to hurt one another. He said he understood, so I doled out the punishment. No electronics, desserts for the week, or Rec center for Colin’s soccer match that night.

Of COURSE he cried, and screamed, and cried some more. However, you know what, he calmed down. He sat and read, drew some pictures, and apologized later for what happened. At the same time, around 10 I found him playing the Xbox. Lovely. Now the Xbox cord is gone, no one can play, and punishment is extended. Is it ever easy?

Is it wrong to say boys will be boys, or kids will be kids? Here’s what: I know when he gets older this will happen with his friends. I hung out with guys in school, they do this. They think its hilarious. So, is it just starting now? Hopefully, he can have the common sense to not do this in school. Just please say I’m not raising a mini Johnny Knoxville.

Here is hoping we have a better report to come. I get that my Mom warned me about naming him Alexander, but seriously! He is definitely giving me a run for my money,

 Erin

 

***Edit Follow up : So I wrote an email to the teacher apologizing for Alex’s behavior. I was very proud and told my Sister of this accomplishment. Well, I managed to tell the teacher that I apologized, but one way or another worked “boys will be boys” into the email. Therefore, I apologized AND condoned his behavior. *facepalm* I was informed I have become THAT Mom at school. Well crap. I kept saying “but I apologized!!!” Then I went back and read the email, and swore, a lot. I suppose on Monday I will be apologizing for that. Ugggggh

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8 thoughts on “My child turned into “That Kid”

  1. Oh man, we definitely went through this phase with Aiden and he still has his moments :-/ Good for you for standing your ground! One of the toughest lessons I’ve learned being a parent is that we have to discipline ourselves to be better parents. You’re doing an awesome job mama!

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  2. I don’t mean to laugh, but this shit just happened at our house (10-yr-old boy though). I didn’t write the email, made the boy do it. I forced him to spend the day in the Principal’s office so he was mortified. Maybe right, maybe wrong. But we are all just doing the best we can. Good on ya!

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    • Its perfect to laugh! I had an oh shit moment while I explained the situation to my sister. She works as a school psychologist, and just said “please tell me you didn’t.” I will move forward knowing there is NO good way to say “boys will be boys” to a teacher. Better to laugh it off 😉

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  3. I loved this article. My son is starting his terribles. He is 1 and ive tried so many things but he just screams. If he creid i could just let him calm down but he screams and will do so for a long time. Any suggestions?

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    • I’m a pretty firm believer in letting them cry it out. We have a cool down chair. If its a tantrum they have to sit there until they can calm down. I also completely ignore the behavior. I hear you though when the boys were 1 and they scream? Ugh, nails on a chalkboard!!!
      At 1 though, let him cry it out, just make sure hes not destroying the house! My youngest used to throw things!

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  4. I think it’s just tantrums. My caught? Got the ” im not going to get my way no matter how much i cry” message around his age. But he thinks by screaming ill let him for example destroy his toys or hit people on the face.

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