Adjusting to a new today…

So technically, the post today was from yesterday. I just finally got around to getting it published on here. I read it over this afternoon, grimacing over the grammatical errors and how all over the place it was. I feel like I should put a disclaimer:

This blog was NOT intended to be about death and loss. I read over my whole blog and it was a a downward spiral for the last month. Reading it was unreal. I feel as though I have to add another adjustment into my life:

Life without my mom.

I’m sure I will force myself to get back to normal. Especially for my kids sake. You do NOT want to know what this house looked like when I came out of my fog on Wednesday. A bomb is an understatement. It will take another week for me to dig, disinfect, and be semi satisfied with the house again. I feel its ok to be sad. To look at pictures and have a pang of hurt. To sit and wonder what life is like without Mom and not actually believe it. It was just too fast.

I have such a major adjustment. I have realized I have more time on my hands than I did before. I will see that much more next week when the boys are in school. I have ate my fair share of crap this week as well. Alcohol, junk food, and carbs have been such good friends. I’m fairly positive LA Fitness will need to be my new friend starting next week.

I’ll need to divert my attention. Not think about how my Mom would call me or I would call her by 9am everyday. I don’t know? Does anyone have suggestions on how to move on after losing a parent like this?

How do you distract yourself? Lists, chores, cooking, baking, reading, exercising???? Well, cleaning should be in that last bit, yikes! I feel like its a whole new world, and this past 6 months has aged me so much. Don’t be silent though.

One thought on “Adjusting to a new today…

  1. I had to let myself feel it. Trying to pretend the pain of the loss wasn’t there is what messed me up big time. My mom’s family is a family of bakers; so whenever I was missing her acutely, I would bake something that used to be a specialty of hers. It made me feel close to her and it celebrated one of the most fun aspects of our relationship. That’s my suggestion. Do something that celebrates the woman and/or the relationship you had every time you’re overwhelmed by missing her.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s